.

Finally, we no longer could stand to be sepeerated from our little boy so we re entered his little room just as the lab techs were finished putting in the IV.  Our sons tear stained face said it all...He just quickly grabbed at me out of fear and I held him.. what else could I do?  I just clung onto him and rubbed his tiny back and silently prayed that he would endure all he had to and that it wouldn't be as painful as that moment.  I prayed for my sons life.. for courage.. for strength and for healing.
Finally we were getting ready to go up to Peds... where Hudson's Room would be waiting for him.  His nails clawed deeper into my arm when I put him down so they could wheel Hudson and his bed up to the 5th floor. He was  so paranoid and afraid.. how could I just let him ride alone when he needed his mommy? when he needed my comfort?  So he sat in my lap in the bed as we were both wheeled together up the elevator.  He of course thought this was fun.. like a race car... and I savored his little moment of happiness.. knowing that  it wouldn't last.. that he had more to endure as the night went on... it was now 9pm.. his bed time.  The room was small... with a huge crib like bed that I thought for sure would set him off.. but it turned out that he loved it.. maybe because he was tired.. maybe because on top of his pillow sat a big stuffed puppy that he immediatly grabbed and hugged.. who knows.. all I felt was peace.. we were safe up here.  These people knew what they were doing.. they knew how to talk to small kids... they loved Hudson the moment they met him.  Hudson was now being hooked up to three different machines.. one on his toe... his IV  of course and 3 "happy faced" heart monitors that stuck on his tummy and chest.  How was he going to sleep with all these wires without getting tangled I wondered?  He needs a good sleep considering the last 3 hours have been torture.  Every hour that fateful night, 2 nurses would come in... and check his vitals.. prick his tiny finger and stop the beeping on the IV machine.  No one got sleep.. no one could rest.. aside from the constant beeping and alarms that would go off on Hudsons machines , you could hear the 3 month old next door coughing because he had RSV.. Or you could hear the night nurses outside our door at their desk talking and laughing... with each finger prick, and each glucose result that came back so high that the meters couldn't read the results.. Hudson was labelled "Critical" because his glucose levels were 35+ and not around 6-10 which a regular child should be.  We just waited in the corner where the only "bed" for the parents was in the tiny room...feeling so helpless.. so powerless... watchig Hudson fall asleep and than be woken up hour after hour... but there was peace.. I could feel it... A peace filled the room andthrough all the beeping and the cries and the fear... we knew we weren't alone on this new journey.