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"They" say.. be careful what you name your children... because eventually they will live up to what you name them...  well, sitting there in this overly hot PEDS room, surrounded by beeping machines, I couldn't help looking into the sleeping face of my sweet boy while I rubbed his back to help him fall back asleep at 3am after yet another round of pokes and beeps and a potty break, and think of the day he was born... in this very hospital just 2 floors down.  I thought of the painful journey of trying to get pregnant with him for over a year, and than FINALLY learning that he was a boy...  How could it have been almost 3 years already that we were in this hospital meeting him for the first time and now we are here, just in time to save his little life?!  Thats when it dawned on me.. one of the reasons why we named him what we named him was because of what it meant in the first place.. I thought to myself after my daughter was born 3 months ago "Great! 2 kids with the word STRONG in their name! What am I going to do?  Am I going to have 2 strong willed children?  Maybe I should have taken a closer look at their meanings before giving them a name that they will live up to yet drive me crazy!"  but now I understand why "strong" is in the meaning of Hudson's name... it wasn't because he was going to be a strong willed child.. it was because of this!  Right now... this moment...  Hudson's name means " A Strong and Courageous Promise"  and now I knew why we named him what we named him... because of what he was going through right now.. he is the strongest.. most courageous.. most brave little man I have ever met!!  And he IS our Promise.. our promise that came 3 years ago... thats my little boy... right before me.. looking so small.. and even at 3am.. as all the nurses still ran around doing their night shifts, I silently prayed a prayer of thanks for saving my son's life... and I began to sing to him very quietly so I wouldn't wake Hudson or my husband who sat in the corner.. all 6'4" of him curled up in the only lazy boy chair in the room.  I sang him the song I used to sing to him when Hudson was just new born and battling bronchitis... I sang him "Baby Mine"
It was a sweet moment of peace, and love.. Who would have thought that at 3am.. on the most heartbreaking day of our lives I would feel such peace as I stroked his soft, but sweaty blonde hair?  In that peace I knew that the next few days to come were going to be trying and hard and we had alot of learning to accomplish... but I just stood there... and gazed at my peaceful son.. and let the tears fall.