What Reminds Me

It's a calm in the midst of a storm.  Its the silent chaos that blurs our sight.  Its the freezing fingers of the howling wind that takes me back.  Back to that fateful night.  Blizzards are what remind me of the day our lives changed without our even knowing it.
It was New Years Eve.   The boys were sick and downstairs on the couches which were covered in sheets "just in case".  Us girls were upstairs, safely tucked in in the Master Bedroom.  After all, we know how dangerous it could be for a 2.5 month old baby to catch the flu or cold or whatever was causing both my husband and Hudson to be sick.  Tenley and I rang in the New Year together, secluded upstairs.  If I had known that this was the night that would change Hudson's life forever, I wouldn't have cared if I  had caught his flu, I wouldn't have cared if he puked all over me a thousand times and than more!  I would have held him so close and taken this flu from him... But I couldn't.  If I had known that that New Year's Eve, his pancreas would shut down and that my son was in instant danger I would have stopped time.  I would have traded him places... I would have sacrificed my own for his.  I would have transfused my insulin for his.  But we didn't know.  It shut down at the stroke of 12.  And as the light of a New Year dawned, the beginning of our New Lives awoke.  
The storm had ceased but our storm had just begun to pick up speed.  As we broke free from our house ( literally!  we were snowed in!)  We were also breaking new ground.  Every blizzard takes me back.  Takes me back to that time when Hudson's body began to fight for its self.  It fought to stay alive.  He was fighting a silent battle and we were oblivious to it's cry.  If I could, I would.  If I knew, I would have risen up.  If I could have stopped the countdown to a New Year and stayed as we were..  I would have broke the hour glass.  But we can't.  We CAN - Live each moment to its fullest potential.  We CAN look at these snowflakes that fall peacefully as a Blessing.  We CAN take the time to enjoy the little things.  Because in the Blink of an Eye this could all vanish.  What our children are is precious.  What they bring to our lives is indescribable... and what we could have lost is unfathomable.  With each Blizzard, we remember that our Blessings .. are those who are also watching the snowflakes fall with us!!

This Picture was taken the day the blizzard stopped.  We dug ourselves out and stepped out and unknowingly began our new lives!